Timely Wisdom

If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.
– John 15:7 (NIV)




Toss Your Expectations Into the Ocean::::::::::::

How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness comes from one little thing?

Almost all of it comes from your expectations, and when things (inevitably) don’t turn out as we expect, from wishing things were different.

We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.

And when reality doesn’t meet our fantasy, we wish the world were different.

Here’s a simple solution:

Take your expectations, and throw them in the ocean.

Picture all the expectations you have for yourself, your life, your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world. Take them from inside you, and toss them in the ocean. A river or lake will also do.

What happens to them? They float. They’re carried around by waves. The current takes them out, and they drift away. Let them be washed away by the cleansing waters, and let them go.

Now live your life without them.

What’s a life without expectations like? It means you accept reality as it is, without expectations, without trying to force people into the containers you have for them, seeing things as they are. It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed or frustrated or angry — or if you are, you accept it, and then let it go.

That’s not to say you never act — you can act in a way that’s in accordance with your values, and influence the world, but never have an expectation of how the world will react to your actions.

If you do something good, you won’t expect praise or appreciation. Let those expectations of reward and praise float away with the waves. Do good because you love doing good, and expect nothing beyond that.

Pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t beat yourself up if you have expectations. Just see them. Then toss them in the ocean.

Notice if you start to wish things weren’t the way they are. If you wish someone else didn’t do something, notice that. You have expectations, and you wish people or the world could have met them instead of doing what they actually did. Toss those wishes in the ocean too. Now accept things, and move on.

Let the waters of the world cleanse us, and let us walk lightly in a world that is already wonderful without our fantasies.


- by Leo Babauta.









Today’s Positive Reflection:

Concentration

With some meditation techniques, people are given ideas or mantras, which they often simply repeat. They do not penetrate the mind and do not bring any sense of meaning. People bounce these ideas around like a ball in their mind and, from the mind, the ball of thought is bounced to the mouth. Sound patterns are repeated, but nothing has really been understood. The result of this is that there is very little power generated from within to bring about change in behaviour, or personality. Thus, everything continues in the same way. In these cases, people are not focused on spirituality. As a result, after a while, such people find meditation boring, they fall asleep, or think that by repeating words, either verbally or mentally, they are doing meditation. However, the right type of concentration is not brought about simply by repeating sounds or ideas.



Natural concentration is when the mind can hold a thought for a long time, when thoughts are under our own control.



Without concentration the mind goes here, there and everywhere, jumping like a monkey from branch to branch, idea to idea. When there is a natural concentration, we can control our mind and there is peace. This one-pointed concentration on a thought, holding it for as long as we like, gradually collects strength in the mind and in the self.



A strong mind is a mind that is peaceful, stable, satisfied and can remain in the deeper meaning of a thought. There is no waste caused by over-thinking, or the high speed of thought. These are the two greatest diseases of the mind these days, which is why there is so much stress and mental breakdown.





Mood Management

Moods play a major role in our lives. They govern our feelings and actions and if not managed well, they can create havoc and chaos in our minds leading to depression and other mental illnesses. Do you find that something as simple as the weather or the morning headlines can alter your mood?

Moods are basic psychological states that can occur as a reaction to an event or can surface for no apparent external cause. A mood is an internal, subjective state. It is also a relatively long lasting emotional state. Moods differs from emotions in that they are less specific, less intense and less likely to be triggered by a particular stimulus. People speak of being in a good mood or a bad mood and this often lasts for days and not hours as in the case of a feeling or an emotion. Moods also differ from temperament or personality traits which are long lasting.

Moods can manipulate how individuals interpret and translate the world around them, and can also direct their behavior. In a study done by Niedenthal and Setterlund (1994), research showed that individuals are tuned to perceive things that are congruent with their current mood. Both the pessimist and optimist will prove themselves right as they manifest what they have interpreted through the lens of their mood!

According to psychologist Robert Thayer, mood is a product of two dimensions: energy and tension. A person can be energetic or tired while also being tense or calm. According to Thayer, people feel best when they are in a calm-energy mood, and worst when in a tense-tired state. The low energy arousal coupled with tension, as experienced in a bad mood, can be counteracted by walking. Thayer suggests walking as a means to enhanced happiness. (Wikipedia, 2011)

Research has shown that, contrary to the stereotype of the suffering artist, creativity is enhanced most by positive moods and happy thoughts

People have often used food to regulate mood. Take for example chocolates, yes that dark gold bar of pure happiness! The benefits of dark chocolate come from resveratrol, an antioxidant and immune system booster. It also has the ability to boost brain levels of endorphins as well as serotonin, a mood-altering chemical on which many antidepressants act. The recommended dose however is only one ounce per day, so remember not to over indulge. Wine has been used for eons to create a romantic mood.

German researchers studying garlic's effect on cholesterol discovered that participants being treated with garlic experience an elevation in mood. Now this does not necessarily mean good mood, it also implies that one can become e-motional – ‘energy is in motion’ and perhaps not one in control! Pilots are advised not to eat garlic up to 72 hours before flying as it slows down concentration and doubles or triples reaction time. Knowing what to eat is an important part of food-mood management!

Music can also alter moods. Niedenthal and Setterland used music to induce positive and negative moods. Sad music was used as a stimulus to induce negative moods, and participants labelled other things as also negative. This proves that people’s current moods tend to affect their judgment and perception in all areas of their lives. Surround yourself with music that will uplift your spirits and not one that will strip the light of your aura.

People who tend to be moody are less predictable and difficult to work with. They are needy, stroppy, self–centered, procrastinators and susceptible to sulking. People are less inclined to want to work with them as the other party is not always sure of how they may react and so they hesitate to even ask them for favours. People who have a stable and consistent mood make the best leaders. They have a focus and consistently keep their vision well oiled.


The difference between a response and a reaction is that a ‘re-s-ponse’ is thought out or pondered over whereas a re-action is to re-enact something that has taken place previously. For example... you begin your day with an argument with your spouse. As you drive to work, you mull over this incident in your mind. By the time you get to work, the receptionist greets you with a big bright smile (as she is trained to) and at that moment you ask her in an irritated tone, what has she got to smile about! The anger built up from an earlier incident is brought forward to the present incident; you have brought forward the anger. Part of learning to manage moods is to be able to segregate incidents in our mind and not to let them overlap.

Sickness and ill health can also make a person short fused and less tolerant. We become vulnerable and susceptible – knee jerk reactions. When the body is sick, we have to ensure the mind is not! And so for times like this, we need to be sure that we have acquired enough power through meditation that will assist us at a time of need. The healing process will be faster if we maintain the right attitude!

Hormones also play a major part in understanding why certain moods erupt at certain times. Coupled with modern day stress, it creates anarchy in the soul. Learning to understand the workings of the mind and body is the key to prevention.

The atmosphere of a place can also induce certain moods. Walk into a church or hospital, funeral parlor or shopping mall and you certainly won’t be feeling the same way inside. Know what you want and surround yourself with healthy and positive people and be selective about the places you frequent.

It’s time... to take responsibility and not allow external factors to affect your mood. As a master of your mind and body, take time to understand what triggers your moods. Play some light music every day to soothe your soul. Eat your meals in a mindful state. And slow down before you end up in a mood ditch that is hard to get out of!